Dr Liza’s Vet Tales Excerpt – Another African Adventure PART 2
My visits back to S.A. had some vet work included as well, like one of the animals needing dental work and my uncle’s new dog Danny needing to be neutered. My stepdad Al is a dentist, very passionate about his work, a helpful soul always interested in medical and dental details and so when animals needed a procedure on my visits he would always be keen to be involved. Danny had a general anesthetic and a routine neuter where we surgically remove the testicles. Al was fascinated by the procedure and with his usual wicked sense of humour suggested that he keep Danny’s testicles in a bottle in the window of his practice to deter burglars!
As for our equine IHT (Interval Hypoxic Training) trials, it all began at Customs. After months of stressing about actually getting all of our equipment over to South Africa in one piece, it was finally within reach and all I had to do was go and fetch it from the airport, or so I thought!
With the equipment in my name some helpful fellow decided that these goods must belong to a big electrical company “Schneider” and so took all of the papers to the Customs clearing agent who worked for that company. After I received a phone call asking if the agent could go ahead and get the cargo, I discovered that there was a fee of 20 000 Rand. Of course I was quite bowled over with that figure as we hadn’t budgeted for this aspect and I said that I would collect the forms and make arrangements myself in order to bypass a costly agent. Paper trails, political process and drama are not my forte and already I could feel my jaw beginning to clench with frustration and my blood begin to boil!
It was arranged that I’d pick the forms up from the agent at 11 a.m. that morning and Ash went with me in a Kombi to get the goods. I arrived to find that the delivery man had taken the papers to the wrong place. We were told that and they would try to get the forms redelivered as soon as possible. I tried to be patient and calm but my teeth started to grind in my already clenched jaw.
A kind lady invited me into her office and offered me a cup of coffee and patiently explained that she’d accepted that she was working in a third world country and that she’s learned accept little hiccups like I was experiencing. She said that she understood that a cup of coffee probably wouldn’t suffice and said that a stiff whisky may be more suitable.
Finally the delivery man arrived with the papers and to my shock and horror, Customs wanted 20 000 Rand to release our cargo and that was without the agent’s fees! I nearly resorted to the whisky but managed to maintain my composure and asked if they could please advise me on an alternative since I had no experience dealing with this.
I was told to see if I could find a certain Customs officer who may give me some insight and help. I searched the corridors with no luck…. the large amount of orthodontic work which I had when I was younger (I reckon my parents just about put my orthodontist’s kids through university!) was under threat as my teeth began to make audible grinding noises!
Eventually a friendly Afrikaans lady asked if she could help. I told her my woes and she escorted me to the office of a Customs officer and explained my story followed by, “Sy het so ‘n oulike glimlaggie, ons moet haar help.” (“She has such a sweet smile, we must help her.”)
Ash and my brother Gav decided sometime before that I have a special gift which they called “The Grandmother Effect” and because of it I was often the one recruited to organize various things. How it works is that whenever Ash or Gav would ask for something from someone they would receive a blunt and non-helpful answer but when I asked I would get an extremely polite reply with added frills. For example:
Scenario 1: Rent scuba gear from a dive shop…
The Ash and Gav scenario is: rent the gear, pay full price, get back after your dive with the gear and be expected to wash it before giving it back.
The Liza scenario is: “you’d like to rent some cylinders? Sure, here are your cylinders with a special 30% discount and free air fills and also a complementary air fill for next time you’re here. By the way, don’t worry about washing the gear when you get back, we’ll do it for you and we can fetch it from your car too. Do you need directions to the dive site? Here’s a free map”.
Scenario 2: Rent a house
The Ash scenario is: move in next week, no pets, 3 weeks rental in advance, no big parties, 3 weeks notice if you move out.
The Liza Scenario is: “when would it suit you to move in? You have two dogs that mainly live outside, that’s no problem. If you need to move out soon, just let us know and if you’d like to have a big party with your 60 Turkish friends, please invite us” … o.k., the last part was a bit extreme but I’m sure you get the picture!
However, once when we were visiting my Dad in Sydney and trying to rent a car, a young fellow behind the desk just wasn’t responding to the grandmother effect despite my most charming attempts. My brother promptly explained to me that he was otherwise inclined and had no interests in females!
Anyway, I finally ended up at another Customs clearing agent who could work with the Customs officer and would speed things up for us. He said to go home, take a valium or two or three and he’d give me a ring once he’d sorted everything out!
The equipment was finally transported to Ondestepoort. I guided my professors through our protocols and we were relieved to find that our equipment was in perfect working order after travelling across the ocean. I drove out of our university campus that day almost as relieved as I did after finishing my final exams! Over the following few weeks the trials went well showing a positive response as expected and at last we had some robust science to help support our marketing efforts.
To read more about my adventures, read Vet Tales available as a book or e-book from https://www.drliza.co.nz/shop/